The Gown With The Split Down The Back

I was sittin' here mindin' my business
Kinda lettin' my mind go slack,
When in comes a nurse with a birhgt sunny smile,
And a gown with a splint down the back.

"Take a shower", she said, "and get ready,
And then jump into this sack."
What she was really talkin' about,
Was the gown with the split down the back.

"They are coming to do some tests," she said.
They're gonna stretch me out on a rack,
With nothing twixt me and the cold cruel world,
But a gown that's split down the back!

It only comes to the knees in front,
In the sides there is also a lack,
But by fat the greatest shortcoming,
Is that bloomin' split down the back.

Whoever designed this garment
For humor had a knack,
But I fail to see anything funny
'Bout a gown that's split down the back!!!!

When I get to heaven, it'll make me no odds,
If my robe is white, red, or black.
The only thing I'll ask is "Please,
Give me one with no split down the back."
~Elmer Due~

(Hope it gives you a good laugh too) "Til next time